How to manage anxiety, the easy way.

Anxiety feels like something is wrong, even if you’re not sure what or why. You can’t think clearly yet your mind may be racing or shut down. You feel uneasy, maybe sick in the stomach. Your hands may become sweaty and your heart might race. Your body is poised to run away, fight or hide.

It can happen anywhere and at any time. You may be sitting at your desk, walking in a shopping centre or lying in bed trying to go to sleep. It’s horrible. So why do you feel like this and how do you make it go away?

Anxiety is just a common habitual, automatic response to stress and overwhelm and is easily managed.

At some stage in your life your subconscious mind created this response to protect you. It was the quickest way to prepare you and get you away, either emotionally or physically from threatening and/or overwhelming stressful situations. It may have even been a whole group of stressful stuff at one time in your life that you needed relief from. You don’t have to know what it was that triggered your anxiety. Your mind set up a quick response that worked very well. Because it worked so well you started subconsciously, that is automatically using it in other similar situations. You didn’t think about it, it just happened. There would be a trigger (the stressful situation or thought), this would automatically trigger the danger alarm and then you would respond with these ‘prepared to run away or hide from danger feelings’, known as the fight or flight response. Then even the thought of something slightly stressful would trigger this response. Your beautiful mind became so efficient at protecting you that it would happen in the blink of an eye. No need for you to even think about it. Hint of stress or fear and straight into this response. There you are lying in bed at night and you have a hint of a stressful thought and BAM, straight into the anxiety response. Very, very efficient but a pain in the ass that you so wish would go away!

Instead of worrying that you might be going crazy, you can now see anxiety rationally as a logical result of past life events, past conditioning and coping approaches. It’s just a habit, it’s not who you are.

You can always form new habits.

So now you know what it is and why it is happening to you. You are not mad, your subconscious has just become very sensitive to stress and acts automatically to protect you the best way it knows how.

This primal response is great when there is real danger and very necessary to our survival. You can’t just turn it off. If you don’t respond to the perceived danger the stronger and more frequent the alarm gets. The more you try and ignore or stop these false alarms the stronger the anxiety gets.

There are three main areas in the body we tend to hold and feel anxiety in. For some people it’s mainly in their stomach, for others it’s in their chest and or throat and others say it’s this awful fogginess or headaches in their head or maybe it’s all three.

How to release it. How to interrupt the pattern and create new automatic habits.

Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is akin to madness. Try something very different.

Do what works for you. Here are some suggestions.

1. Locate where you feel anxiety in your body and become curious about it. See if it is in any other areas as well.

2. Remember trying to stop these anxious feelings only makes it worse because it is your body trying to get you to take notice of the danger and make you safe, even if the danger is not real. So do the opposite and really notice it. Really notice where and how it feels in your body. Say ‘YES’ out loud to it over and over. ‘Yes, yes, yep, I hear you, thank you yes, I have such an efficient mind, My mind is so good at this. Yes that’s it. I hear you. I know you just want to keep me safe.” Thank it for alerting you. (May feel a bit silly but it works). Even ask it to give you all it has and to ‘bring it on’ even stronger in that part of your body. This won’t make it worse. Try it first when you are not really stressed and see if you can actually make it stronger. You won’t be able to because there will be no point. I have successfully used this technique with myself and many clients. You brain and body know you have received the alarm, so the alarm settles down. The anxiety settles down. Notice how you feel and how that part of your body feels after you have acknowledged the anxiety as an alarm signal. Take a deep slow breath and let it all out. Calmer? 3. Locate where you feel the anxiety in your body (maybe your head, tummy, chest or a combination of these). Be with the feelings, actually say yes to it, acknowledge it and welcome it. Rate them out of ten. Get a feeling for which direction it wants to move. For example, if you feel this manly in your chest area you may get a sense that it wants to rise up into your throat. In our attempt to stop these anxious feelings we tend to hold tight and prevent them from moving out of our bodies, making it worse. Imagine these feelings are like red arrows (or whatever imagery works for you), and they are passing right through you in the direction they want to go. Allow them to take the feelings out of you a little bit at a time or in a blast. Just be willing to let go just a little bit and allow this feeling to move out of you as you breathe out of your mouth. If your fists are closed and holding tight, open your hands. Take your hands off your chest, belly or head and adopt an open posture that allow this feeling to move.

You are not trying to stop it. You are moving it through you so that it can flow out. Rate the feelings out of ten again. Repeat if you want to.

4. Different imagery works for different people so find something that works for you that you can instantly use when you want to. Form a new habit that then becomes your automatic response. Here are a few more examples. Imagine you are regenerating like DR Who or imagine opening up a window or door over the area and seeing the anxious energy leave. Welcome in new fresh energy that feels good. Use your imagination to play with it, you don’t have to be perfect just get a sense of it. This type of activity works well under light hypnosis. Your imagination is a lot freer and your subconscious can learn new ways to deal with things that work for you.

5. Get up and move. Run if you can. Dance, wriggle, stretch. Take a shower or clean the house. If you want some privacy go to the toilet and wriggle and stretch behind the closed door. Fist punch into the air. Yell or sing. Your body has been prepared to move so act and the alarm will settle down.

Dealing with overwhelm

Often when we are stressed or anxious our thoughts are racing, and our mind feels all jumbled up. We can’t think clearly. You may even get a foggy head or headache. It’s as if you’re trying to immediately solve all your problems at once and it can be very overwhelming. You feel like something is wrong, but you can’t think straight and don’t know how to fix it. Again, trying to stop this only seems to make it worse. Instead try slowing your thoughts right down. It’s as if you are think....ing innnn.... sloooow moootion. Tryyyyy thiiiiisssss nnnnnoooooow so you can get a feel for what I mean. Just speak in your head in slow motion whatever thoughts come to you. Or try reading this in sloooow motion. This NLP exercise has an instant calming effect and is often much easier to do than trying to slow your breathing down.

Worrying never works. It only makes you feel more confused and more anxious. Trying to figure it all out while you can’t think clearly is worrying. Don’t try to justify your worrying either. Repeat after me- worrying never ever, ever, works. The answers you are seeking have always come to you when you are calm or happy, just doing ordinary things and not trying to get the answers. For example, when you are in the shower. So, go and do what you feel like doing without judgement or pressure. Or go and wash the car, mow the lawn, ring a friend, watch an old funny movie, cook a cake, take the dog for a walk. The inspiration will come then.

If you feel anxiety, overwhelm, worry or depression are effecting you, speak to your Doctor who will assist you in developing a plan of action.

Michele Ableson

www.micheleableson.com